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Confessions of a Music Mom



Learning an instrument or anything new for that matter requires us to evaluate our perception of failure. How we view failure will determine how freely we explore and engage in new things. Our youngest daughter Kylie is three years old and it amazes me how she explores new things without the fear of failure. I recently watched a fantastic video featuring Sara Blakely, a successful businesswoman and the thing that I loved most was her father's definition of failure. He knew that the fear of failure can hold you back from simply trying new things, so he told her that failure was not trying at all and success was trying, no matter the outcome. As a musician or anyone for that matter, many lessons come from failure that will help build character and musicianship. As I watched our daughter progress in her musicianship, I've found that failure taught her lessons such as perseverance, humility, and problem-solving. Every time she learned from her failures, she found herself in a better place than not trying at all. As parents, it's important to teach our children that failure is a part of life and a great opportunity to learn. There have been times where my husband and I encouraged Kierra to move past the fear of failure to go further into her music such as auditioning for honors chorus or entering into a songwriting competition. At the things she didn't succeed in, we saw determination increase within her that caused her to grow as an individual and make her better. Society can have such a negative connotation about failure, but I love how Sara's dad created a safe place for her to take risks and also fail at things that she attempted to do. The fact that he redefined Sara's definition of failure as simply not trying versus being fearful of the outcome was ingenious. We all want our kids to become successful at what they do. Perhaps we need to change our perspective and redefine failure because success can be found in failure when you can apply the lessons you've learned in the process to make you better. So, continue to encourage your child to try new things (whatever that looks like for you) no matter the outcome and if they don't quite get it, create a safe place where they can learn from it and keep trying. The lessons we learn from our failures are what I believe, our greatest assets.

Learning an instrument or anything new for that matter requires us to evaluate our perception of failure. How we view failure will determine how freely we explore and engage in new things. Our youngest daughter Kylie is three years old and it amazes me how she explores new things without the fear of failure. I recently watched a fantastic video featuring Sara Blakely, a successful businesswoman and the thing that I loved most was her father's definition of failure. He knew that the fear of failure can hold you back from simply trying new things, so he told her that failure was not trying at all and success was trying, no matter the outcome. As a musician or anyone for that matter, many lessons come from failure that will help build character and musicianship. As I watched our daughter progress in her musicianship, I've found that failure taught her lessons such as perseverance, humility, and problem-solving. Every time she learned from her failures, she found herself in a better place than not trying at all. As parents, it's important to teach our children that failure is a part of life and a great opportunity to learn. There have been times where my husband and I encouraged Kierra to move past the fear of failure to go further into her music such as auditioning for honors chorus or entering into a songwriting competition. At the things she didn't succeed in, we saw determination increase within her that caused her to grow as an individual and make her better. Society can have such a negative connotation about failure, but I love how Sara's dad created a safe place for her to take risks and also fail at things that she attempted to do. The fact that he redefined Sara's definition of failure as simply not trying versus being fearful of the outcome was ingenious. We all want our kids to become successful at what they do. Perhaps we need to change our perspective and redefine failure because success can be found in failure when you can apply the lessons you've learned in the process to make you better. So, continue to encourage your child to try new things (whatever that looks like for you) no matter the outcome and if they don't quite get it, create a safe place where they can learn from it and keep trying. The lessons we learn from our failures are what I believe, our greatest assets.

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